The Ultimate Snowball Fight and Poolside Battle
by x-Panicalysis-x
Summary: [Recently The Ultimate Snowball Fight Vampire Style]It starts out a regular snowy, quiet day in Forks, but quickly turns to an all out war with high stakes. The poolside fight comes later, in the summer. [R&R! Now flamin', puny ego balloon..]
1. SN0WBaLL FiiGHT

I wrote this in like.. An hour. o3o

I hope it doesn't seem bad or rushed, but I was really inspired, and I pounded through the whole thing which is odd for me. :D Enjoy.

* * *

The Forks sky was that usual shade of gray, with the thick, white towering clouds scattered across the smooth horizon. Like almost everyday. Except for one small detail, instead of rain or even no rain, fluffy snowflakes were floating gently to the ground in sheets.

And guess who was out playing in the snow?

The Cullens, Hales, and Bella Swan.

And guess who convinced who that the snow wasn't THAT bad?

Edward and Bella.

Alice, Edward, Bella, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper were split into 2 teams.

Emmett, Edward and Bella on one side of their untouched snowy lawn, and Alice, Rosalie and Jasper on the other. A small mound of perfectly crafted snowballs was on each. And even the teams were calculated on terms of strengths and weaknesses.

Emmett and Edward worked well together, Edward was speed and smarts, while Emmett was quick thinking and strong. And, believe it or not, Bella could be a brilliant tactitian.

Alice was pure intuition and precognition, Rosalie was a delicate balance of speed, deceptive strength and a different perspective, and Jasper had his ultra fast reflexes.

Oh yeah.

This would be The Ultimate Snowball Fight.

_xXxXxAre you ready to ROCK? Well.. Let's get it ON!xXxXx_

Bella stood in between the two vampires, who had two snowballs in their hands.

"Alright," she said to them. "Edward should take Alice because she's intuitive and you're fast, giving you the time to attack. Emmett should get Jasper because if you open up his defenses, you should be able to get a power shot in. And that leaves me with Rosalie,"

"Nervous?" asked Edward with a glint in his golden eyes.

"Just a little."

"We'll end this quickly," said Emmett with a snarl.

"ONE! TWO!.. _CHARGE!!_" Edward yelled, pointing his free hand at them, breaking into a run. He closed the distance between him and Alice in a matter of seconds, while Emmett ran at Jasper and leaped, hurling his snowball down. Jasper blocked it easily, spinning and hitting Emmett's ribs.

"Give in to the Hale forces and we will show you mercy!" Jasper called, getting into it.

"NEVER! You've corrupted my sister Alice and are employing her powers! I'll _NEVER_ FORGIVE YOU!" Emmett growled. He kicked up, sending 3 freshly made snowballs whizzing at him. Jasper was hit by 2 of them, his breath being knocked from his lungs. Which really didn't matter, but those fuckers sting. Especially when they're hurled by a vampire with super strength.

Jasper growled and kicked some loose powder at the bigger vampire. He laughed, as Emmett stumbled back and fell. This gave him his chance. A seemingly never ending wave of snowballs pounded at the bigger vampire's head.

"I gave you your chance," he yelled over the thump of snowballs hitting granite, "Now I'm going for the kill!!"

-

Edward and Alice circled, smirking at each other. The only sound was the shouts of Emmett and Jasper in battle.

_Right step, slide._

_Right step, slide._

"Ha!" Alice yelled, flicking her wrist and sending a whizzer at Edward. He caught it and slowly stepped closer. Alice didn't waver, though, as he closed the distance.

_Why isn't she-- AHH!_

He should have known! Edward had fallen right into a trap. Litterally. He was now in an extremely deep hole. The sides of the hole were actually widest at the bottom, so it'd be impossible to climb out. And it was waaay to deep to jump.

"That's not fair, Alice! It's a snowball fight." he yelled. She peeked over the edge.

"All's fair in love and war, Eddie," she giggled, jumping back.

"ALICE!! _ALIIIIIIICE!!_"

-

Rosalie smirked, stepping closer to Bella.

"If you give in to Hale forces, we'll make your punishment... less _harsh_," she said in a sickly sweet voice, hiding the 2 snowballs in her hands.

"Never," whispered Bella dramatically.

"So be it!"

Rosalie jumped at Bella, thrusting her hand out. The Snowball crushed into Bella's face. She staggered backwards, but that wasn't the end of Rosalie's vicious assault. Rosalie slammed the other snowball into her side. The wind was forced out of her lungs.

"Congratulations on being brave," whispered Rosalie into Bella's ear, "But bravery isn't enough,"

But Bella smirked.

"You think I'm done? I haven't even _started,_"

Rosalie's eyes opened in shock. Bella surprisingly gathered the strength to kick Rosalie's exposed rib. Rosalie fell to her side. **((AN: Yes, I know a human wouldn't be able to take a vampire down with one kick, but it's like one of those 4th grade I-shoot-my-ray-guy-you-pretend-to-fall-down things.))**

Bella kicked snow onto her and pulled her up by her arms. She pretended to be unconcious.

"We have a prisoner for the Cullen forces!" she called to no one, carrying the "unconcious" vampire to the Cullen's side.

The rule of the game was, that if someone captured another person/vampire, that person had 10 minutes to get rescued, or they would be on the opposite team. Bella was guarding Rosalie. She could be truly valuable to the Cullen team.

-

Edward tried for the millionth time to get up the side, but failed miserably. He punched the wall of it, and a section cleared away. He grinned, an idea forming.

He jumped as high as he could, which was about 1/2 up the side. He punched the side, and stuck a foot in there, quickly punching another section out. He grabbed onto that, and continued to punch and climb to the surface.

Alice was humming contentedly, sitting on a small chair made of packed snow. She stood immediately when Edward came out.

"E-Edward!!" She yelled, backing up, grabbing a snowball. He smiled and made one of his own.

"It you forfeit to me you'll be on our team," he said, "If not, you will be _forced _onto our team,"

"I want to go down fighting." she said firmly.

"Alright!"

He crouched, and in one fluid motion threw the ball of snow at her and did a leg sweep. She landed on her back with an "OOF!" He pinned her easily, and made her stand with her arms behind her back.

"_March,_" he said smugly and she growled, obliging.

-

The 10 minutes was up for Emmett. He was on their side. But, he checked his watch. It was three thirty.

"SUDDEN DEATH OVERTIME!!" he screamed. Everyone was silent, and they all ran for the middle of the lawn.

It was everybody versus everybody. They started to fight.

-

Carlisle sighed, glancing out the window.

"They always get so.. into it. They have their little mock wars and everything," he said. Esme smiled.

"At least it gets their agression and energy out, you know?"

He grinned and nodded. "And while they're out their we get the house to ourselves."

"Shall I get the handcuffs?"

"Yes."

* * *

Ooh, some Esme/Carlisle naughtiness thar. ;3 And I KNOW, if Esme wanted to, she could easily snap the metal. I can have my own li'l fantasy world. ;-;

This was inspired by these loveable people I call my brother, sister and 'cousins'. (They're 3 really close family friends) Jake, Abby, Evan, Spencer and Ciara. We always have these really wild snowball fights/pool fights and we get really into it. Like the most recent; we all ganged up and Ciara. Spencer and Jake herded her towards our hiding place. It was great.

But I might do one for the poolside battles. If I get enough reviews, then I will. ;D


	2. SUDD3N D3TH

Holy shit. I love you guys. So I'm doing the sudden death round AND the pool side battle. 11 reviews, 155 hits, 4 favorites and 2 alerts, in like.. 7 hours. WOW. I was jumping with joy.

But, with those, you convinced me. Here's the sudden death and outcome. It's a bit racy near the end, but I think it works.

And the pool fight is coming. ;D

* * *

"SUDDEN DEATH!" screamed Emmett. The vampires and Bella were savagely tearing at who ever with handfuls of snow. Which was really, a funny sight to see. Edward sent Alice flying into a snowbank.

"FUCKER!!" she yelled, seconds before she landed in it on her head.

Now they were less 1 fighter. Rosalie tried to knock Jasper over, but he was braced, and he threw her near Alice.

Alice frowned in a glum manner. Rosalie threw a handful of snow at her.

"I bet Edward will win," she said, smiling.

"No one ever bets against MOI!"

Emmett and Jasper grappled again.

"This looks familiar," said Emmett with a grin. Jasper nodded, and tried to gain dominance over him, but failed. Emmett thrashed violently for a second, and then held still, hands still clenched on Jasper's shoulders. They struggled again. But Edward pushed both of them out of the ring.

Edward and Bella.

Human and Vampire. The final showdown.

-

Alice was taking money from the losers, yelling something about "the betting pool for the fight of the afterlifetime!"

They were frantically putting their bets in.

"My money's on Edward!" chimed Rosalie

"30 bucks for Cullen!" Jasper cheered

"Go Bella!" Emmett said happily, earning stares.

-

Edward and Bella were staring each other down fiercely. Neither would back down. Do you know what the reward was, man?!? 1 week-- no, 2, the battle was THAT titanic, that gargantuan worth of bragging rights and 1 week worth of.. submission from the loser.

I'd give my non existant left nut to be dominant over Edward.

(Edward probably would give his left nut to be dominant over Bella, anyway.)

But fighting under these condiontions make people do very weird and drastic things.

Example, Bella flashed Edward.

-

"OH, NO SHE _DIDN'T!!_" Alice yelled, laughing, spraying her can of ginger ale(that she wasn't going to drink anyway) all over. When you picture her reaction, think.. Hail mary pass into the end zone, intercepted and run all the way back. Pretty fucking amazing.

Anyway, the vampires were freaking.

"GET 'EM, BELLA!!" Emmett screamed.

"OH NO!!! I SAW BELLA'S TITTIES AND I'M OUT 30 BUCKS!!" cried Jasper.

"YOU CAN STILL WIN, EDWARD!" Rosalie yelled.

-

Edward was in a daze. He saw booooooobies.

Bella was embarrassed, and felt triumphant at the same time as she forced him out of the circle.

Isabella Swan had dominated over her vampire boyfriend, Edward Cullen.

Emmett won 80 bucks from his siblings.

Carlisle was getting laid.

It was truly a day to remember.

_WE'RE THE PUPPETS, WE'RE THE PUPPETS, WE'RE THE PUPPETS!!_

_-2 days later-_

Edward sighed. Had the boobies been worth it? He couldn't decide, but surely the humiliation that was about to follow would make him decide it wasn't.

"Come come, Edward! The family beckons!" said Bella cheerfully.

If he had a heart, it would be beating eratically. He looked down.

Oh, he _had _to get her back.

Or jump out the window.

Maybe move to Australia.

"EDWARD!!"

"COMING!!"

He sighed, opened the door, and got 6 immediate bursts of raucous laughter.

Yes, my readers, Edward Cullen was wearing a french maid outfit.

* * *

I really like how I wrote that last part. It turned out funny. Evan kind of looked at me weird because I was giggling from the visual. XDDDDDDD

REVIEW:U It gives me confidence.


End file.
